I have decided to do this blog as I have seen it on many other blogs and figured it would be a good way to put life into perspective.
Dear my sixteen year old self,
After finishing your GCSE's, gaining what will become your longest relationship so far and getting rid of everything and everyone bad in your life you will finally be happy for a while after a bad couple of years. You go to sixth form after passing your GCSE's and study Textiles, Product Design and Leisure Studies (not wanting too), you study hard, party hard and end up failing Leisure Studies, this makes you think about your life and you almost quit to go to College, you will later wish you had. You have made some good friends for life now during sixth form and partying, or so you think, but things are beginning to go downhill for your relationship.
After the summer between the first and second year of sixth form you reluctantly go back to sixth form and take up Psychology with your other two subjects. After a month of the second year of sixth form you call time on your relationship after 18 months and decide there is nothing left to salvage, if you are honest with yourself there hasn't been for half a year. After the relationship is over you grab your new found freedom with two hands and party harder and come across other men, some good, some not so good.
Just before your 18th birthday you get a Christmas job in Birthdays, this helps you build your confidence and you love the feeling of earning your own money. Your partying 3 nights a week some weeks now.
You finish sixth form and celebrate of course by partying hard and getting drunk. You find out your results in August and you have somehow managed to get into Uni, you are worried about it in the back of your mind, and you have a good right. You go on a date with someone you think could like you, it doesn't work out but you will become lifelong friends.
Summer is over now and you pack up your things and head off to Sunderland uni, beware this is the start of one of the best and worst times in your life. You go to your first lesson after the weekend of moving in and know within 5minutes it's not for you, after the lesson you come back from uni to the flat upset and withdrawn, you go on to become depressed and hide your feelings with alcohol and fake smiles, you decide to give yourself until Christmas to decide if you like it. What will happen in the couple of months from then until Christmas will not be pretty. By the end of the first few weeks of uni you know you are going to leave at Christmas time and don't bother going into uni much, you party every night and have an array of hangovers, not to mention what else goes on, on said nights out. Between the partying and everything else you become closer friends with someone you will cherish forever as a life long friend, this doesn't bide well with another 'friend' of yours, she becomes jealous and unhappy with what is going on. It drives you insane and that is not the worst thats going to come. She ruins your life, she throws a lot of jealous rages, bitching behind your back and turning everyone against you. Once you return home it doesn't stop, you receive threats over the phone, get phonecalls at 4am every night and e-mails constantly, you become more depressed. You finally decide to put a stop to all of this and ignore her, and eventually decide not to bother with her, she is now 'dead' to you.
Whilst at home you sign onto the dole another pain in your behind whilst looking for a job, this is harder than you think.
You use your final uni loan to go away to London with your now best friend and your partying doesn't slow down any either. You meet a boy over facebook who you will get to know over the year.
You will get together with a bloke you know you shouldn't because of the past and he treats your like dirt. Amongst the time of this year you also get a Christmas job in Toys "R" Us, and fall in love with someone who eventually breaks your heart, it was never meant to be.
After being broken hearted you evaluate your life and the boy you met over facebook becomes your boyfriend and the love of your life. It's almost as if it's fate. After a rocky start everything works out. Through this time you are still best mates with the same person and feel you always will be, you's get drunk together, go to lot's of gigs and just generally have a good time! After a year in your current relationship you turn 21 also a year that you have a joint 21st birthday meal with your Granny for her 75th and find out she has Alzheimer's, this breaks your heart and you can't bear the thought of losing someone so precious to you, you will also get a gorgeous sausage dog called Baxter in the year 2010 and he loves you.
A year or so passes over and you decide to head back to College to study Beauty Therapy, not something you ever thought you would study but you enjoy it and and want to make something of your life, you want to make the two people you think aren't proud of you proud...your mam and dad. You love your course and hope to do nails more often in the future, you have finally found something you are good at and will stick with for a long time. You are still best friends with the person who's gotten you through everything for the last 3-4 years and you are still in a relationship with the "one" after 2 and a bit years.
My advice to you now would of been to stay positive and instead of going to sixth form you should of done Beauty Therapy sooner, but everything happens for a reason and you are now happier than you have ever been before.
Love from,
Your 22 year old self!
<3
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